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Giza aka Douglas Muth's LiveJournal
How I feel about Black Friday shopping crowds 
26th-Nov-2010 10:05 am
Leopard White Mage
This is how I feel:

...any questions?

And jeeze, who gave Dolph a lightsaber? My landlord's gonna be pissed!
26th-Nov-2010 03:08 pm (UTC)
THe hell?

I dont even know...what...this is?
26th-Nov-2010 03:11 pm (UTC)
Heh, fair enough. From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolph_(character):

Dolph is a large, fascist, baby-blue hippopotamus usually appearing armed with a baseball bat. [...] Dolph suffers from megalomania, uncontrolled rage, paranoia, aggression, and xenophobia, in the literal sense of the word. He is a racist, but on closer inspection, he in fact hates virtually everybody else ("most German people" is a notable exception). He often refers to himself in the third-person singular. He constantly tries to convince the world that it should accept him as its sole ruler, but is frustrated by his lack of success. [...] He is a firm believer in military dictatorship and nuclear power - preferably in the form of nuclear weapons. He is a firm opposer of democracy. He has - unsuccessfully - attempted to blow up the Danish parliament, Christiansborg. This plan went foul when his accomplice forgot to bring the bomb.

26th-Nov-2010 03:14 pm (UTC)
is that why he is attacking things in the library?
26th-Nov-2010 03:15 pm (UTC)

I think it's pretty much why he's attacking anything.

Can't say for certain, though. My Danish isn't so hot.
26th-Nov-2010 03:34 pm (UTC)
I get the general impression that he's attacking that "training orb" because it's making noise in the library.
27th-Nov-2010 12:06 am (UTC)
Dolph is an icon of Danish humour – much to his own chagrin, as he thinks humour is for weak people only. Basically, he represents everything Undanish – he’s angry, selfish, aggressive, totally politically incorrect and thinks very highly of himself (Danes are raised to be obliging, cooperative, and to not think of themselves above the community). He says everything that can’t be said in polite company and that’s why Danes find him outrageously funny. We have a very weird sense of humour. ;)

I made a quick translation of the clip for you, to make some sense of it. Dolph isn’t attacking the flying ball because it’s noisy (I’m sure he thinks libraries are only for weak people anyway), but because he dislikes its encouragement of humour (also only for the weak):

Flying ball: [Commercial] Are you bored? Then check out DR.dk [Danish Radio (and TV)'s website] slash satire and be entertained when you want to.

Dolph: Noooo! It must never happen! [Ignites lightsaber.] Humour is weakness! Then Dolph attacks with the bat! Is B.S. Christiansen [the Danish Chuck Norris] ever seen telling a crazy joke? No! He is constantly occupied with shooting down Christanites [Danish hippies] and men who like braiding each other’s hair! [Falls.] Damn! Back up lightening-quick like a ninja!

Voice-over: Watch all the funniest stuff collected in one place at DR.dk slash satire and get more out of DR.

This is funny because 1) Dolph flipping out and attacking random stuff is always funny, 2) Dolph is not a ninja even though he claims to be one, and 3) Dolph doesn’t realise his own show is part of the satire you can watch on DR.dk/satire. ;)

I lol'ed - but then, I'm a Dane and therefore have even worse humour than the British. :P
27th-Nov-2010 02:25 am (UTC)
Oh, speaking of Christiania!

28th-Nov-2010 06:35 pm (UTC)
26th-Nov-2010 04:33 pm (UTC)
Seconded! <3 Dolph.
27th-Nov-2010 12:22 am (UTC)
I’m pretty sure Dolph would hate Black Friday shoppers too. Or possibly he would approve of Black Friday on the basis that it weeds out weak people and only leaves the strong alive. o_O If Germany had Black Friday, he’d definitely be in favour! But overall I think he’d attack Black Friday with his bat too, so I’m sure he can relate to your feelings. ;)
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