May 15th, 2009

White Mage - Drawn by Mahrkale

My town has dumb criminals

It seems that there are stupid criminals where I live. From news that was broken on The Save Ardmore Coalition website:

Today at 1254 hours a male entered the TD Bank, 401 W. Lancaster Ave., in Haverford, produced a demand note for money stating he had a gun. Subject obtained a sum of money from a teller and then fled the bank on foot.

Patrol officers responding to the scene determined that a dye pack with the bank money had exploded on the steps to the Haverford Train Station. A sum of money was located on the steps.

Officers responding to the area stopped a male walking alone on Montgomery Ave near Woodside Rd.

This subject had traces of dye on his arm. Two witnesses from the bank identified this male as the perpetrator of the robbery and he was arrested.

Officers at the Haverford Station located a witness who stated that the male (arrestee) was seen with another subject who got on the east bound train. At the request of police this train was stopped at the Ardmore Station. Subsequent investigation determined that a female on this train had an amount of money in her possession that was stolen during this bank robbery. She was also arrested.

So let me see if I understand their grand plan. One of them was to use a train, and a SEPTA train at that... as a getaway vehicle? That's some serious faith in SEPTA, let me tell you! They can't even get me to work on time, so I have NO idea what would have possessed this suspect to think SEPTA could get her away from a crime scene in a speedy manner.

Just give folks an idea of how short the flight path was, here's a little map that I whipped up in Google Maps:

Yes, the woman on the train made it a whole block further than the guy.

Terms like "felony stupidity" sure come to mind right now.