March 9th, 2009

White Mage - Drawn by Mahrkale

It's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo

...well, sort of. Seems an adult production company was traveling through a TSA checkpoint with an aluminum weapon of ass destruction dildo. TSA was unhappy about this and confiscated said dildo.

Vergenza Dildo Deemed a Security Threat
Aluminum novelty deemed an unacceptable security risk for carry-on luggage.

By JC Adams

SAN FRANCISCO —Athletic Model Guild president Dennis Bell and an AMG Brasil film crew were detained at a Houston airport last week when security identified what they believed to be a potential threat in their luggage — a spun-aluminum dildo manufactured by Vergenza Inspired Erotica.

Bell and his crew had recently wrapped production on "Suruba: Duro" in Rio de Janeiro and were returning home via Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport.

"We were almost through security when one of our bags got pulled from the conveyor belt. After three passes, they finally called for a manual bag check, and I knew exactly what was up," said Bell.

A female agent from the Transportation Security Administration extracted silver novelty from the bag "and was clearly confused," Bell said.

AMG Brasil's production manager explained the item was a dildo. "I've never seen one like this before," she replied.

The crew was held for nearly an hour under the suspicion of concealing a lethal weapon. It was eventually explained that the novelty posed a safety risk and could not be stowed in the group's carry-on luggage.

"They said if it had been Laytex, there would have been no problem," Bell recalled.

The offending item was the Vergenza Mk. 1 Classic, which had been utilized during production of "Suruba: Duro" ("duro" being the Portuguese terminology for an erection). It is the first film to utilize Vergenza products following a marketing pact the companies struck in late 2008.

The AMG Brasil crew was eventually permitted to proceed to their final destination, sans dildo. "We had to ship it back home in a TSA-approved envelope," Bell told XBIZ, "and we'll be waiting on it for up to three weeks. It turns out the TSA is not the most expedient parcel delivery service. The only reminder we have of that cluster fuck is a shipping receipt."

The full story is here.

It appears that the TSA did in fact imply ownership of the dildo, and failed to used the indefinite articles "a dildo" or "the dildo", but instead used "your dildo". Clearly the screeners did not see the movie Fight Club.